I really love playing fantasy baseball. However, there is one little thing that always seems to complicate my enjoyment: being a baseball fan. Allow me to explain.

I am a baseball fan, no doubt about it. In addition, I am also a huge Toronto Blue Jays fan. I live less than an hour from the city, followed the team since I was a kid and was lucky enough to be on the streets of downtown Toronto in 1993 when Joe Carter hit the home run that started the biggest party I have ever seen. Things start to get a little difficult however, when you also play fantasy baseball.

What is one to do when his favourite team is facing the starting pitcher from his fantasy squad? Who do I cheer for when a member of the Jays’ opposing team hits a home run and also happens to occupy the starting Left Field spot on my fantasy team? Being a fan can be so conflicting.

I guess I am pretty lucky in the sense that I currently have two Blue Jays on my currentfantasy team. Unfortunately, one of them is Frank Francisco, the Jays’ on-again, off-again closing pitcher. With his wildly inconsistent ways, penchant for walking batters and overall tendency to blow saves, I often find myself trembling when I am watching a Jays game and Frankie starts warming up in the bullpen. I wish it was as simple as just dropping him from my roster, but it just isn’t that easy. For starters, he is a Blue Jay. I am a Blue Jay fan, so I feel a pang of guilt when faced with the idea of dropping him from my fantasy roster. Second, with closing pitchers at such a premium this year, I desperately need every save opportunity I can get.

As I watched a recent interleague game, St. Louis Cardinals outfielder Matt Holliday hit a home run to tie the game in the sixth inning against the Jays. Normally, I would be upset to see the Jays lose the lead but since Holliday is also on my fantasy team and his home run put me ahead in that category, I didn’t know whether to be disappointed or to be happy (and suffer the guilt).

Then I got thinking… This makes me MORE of a fan. Not only am I a Toronto Blue Jays baseball fan, I am also a fantasy baseball fan. Best of all, that makes me a baseballfan. You know what? I can live with that.